You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize