We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
