When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
