he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
