dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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