halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
