OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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