I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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