Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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