Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I smell stomach acid.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
