I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We need to rekindle our bromance
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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