white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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