If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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