the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
