I'm lost and stupid without you.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
