Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dignity is for republicans.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
