loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
