i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
