Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
