I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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