woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
