No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
