I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
