My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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