not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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