she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
