I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dicks are not precious.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
