Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
