oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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