Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
