My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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