whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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