That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
