sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
