Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
