I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I had to cum in my sink.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
