Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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