names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
