When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
