I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
