Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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