The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
