Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
