I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
