Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
