oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
