The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
