Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
