I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
