ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
