I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
