remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize