i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
