I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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