Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
