I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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