it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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