i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
