It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
