What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
