I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.