Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
