Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize