i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I forget how to act sober
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
