I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
