There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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