there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize